Park Slope Office
Whatever you may have wondered to think about this Sloafist can only be confused by your attention to the following never before released email text sent to Commander and other criminals in September 2000:
FROM THE PARK SLOPE OFFICE OF BETTER CULTURE FOR A BETTER WORLD.
Hey men,
Imagine a song. A jazzy pop-rock type song with a saxaphone and guitars with a thumping bass which, while not actually being so, reminds one of country music. This particular song is a double-chaconne, in which, after several statements of the first chord progression, there is a statement of a different chord progression, generally in the sub-dominant. Then the pattern starts over again. N’ SYNC’S *Bye-bye-bye* is a type of double-chaconne. This is a nice, comfortable structure for a short song that must have a real beginning (in order to grab the attention of the masses) and must lead from that beginning to a logical goal. In the case of the piece I am about to discuss, what I am wondering about is what the intended or unintended logical goal was.
I will be quick and brief. In fact, I will only discuss the bass line as I will be so brief.
The bass line started on 1. The tonality was major and the harmonic language was of the I, IV, V variaties. Oh sure, the sax player may have added some extended thirds (!) to the chords to be cute, but the Roman Numerals stand.
So the bass line started on 1. The tempo of the music was non troppo ma non troppo, and it was definitely in four. After one bar the bass steps up to 2, and stays there – surprisingly – for three bars. Then it moves to 3 and stays there for three bars. We are seven bars into the pattern.
For the eighth bar of the pattern the bass line moves up to 4 for three beats, moves to 5 on beat four, then dramatically and swiftly falls back to 1 where the bass starts again.
This pattern happened numerous times, probably three, and then a new little pattern came in and took us to the subdominant region for a brief respite from the pressure of maintaining the momentum while stuck in a repeating bass pattern.
Then, thanks to the soothing and healing powers of the sub-dominant, when we start the first pattern again we are more at ease and don’t mind listening to it a bit more.
Now that you understand something of what it is we are dealing with here I feel I must tell you that this was the music that was playing when they announced Dick Cheney as the vice president lackey for the Republican party. What a bunch of shenanigans.
What does this music, and in particular, it’s characteristic bass line, have to do with Republicans and Dick Cheney? And what does it have to do with people like us?
We wish all of you luck.
GUARD THIS INFORMATION CAREFULLY. DON’T FORGET TO SMELL SOMETHING AT LEAST FIVE TIMES A DAY. AND EVERYONE BE THANKFUL THAT YOU HAVE A BATHROOM.
Chief
Categories: #CIVIC GRAFFITI